The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) p.756
From the very moment when Elrond chose the nine walkers to stand against the nine riders of Mordor there have been doubts about the suitability of the young hobbits, Merry and Pippin, to be members of that company. When at the last Elrond gave way to Gandalf and named them as members of the Fellowship he did so unwillingly and with a sigh.
And for all the brave words that Pippin spoke then about his determination to follow the Fellowship or to be tied up in a sack to prevent him from doing so both he and Merry have struggled with self-doubt about their being of any use upon the journey, and both of them have found themselves comparing their value to the others as being like a useless piece of baggage.
The first to do so was Pippin as he struggled back into consciousness after being captured by the orcs at Parth Galen.
“What good have I been? Just a nuisance, a passenger, a piece of luggage.” (The Two Towers, Harper Collins 1991, 2007, p. 579)
And later in the story it is Merry who makes very much the same complaint as he tries to stay secret, sitting in front of Éowyn whose own secret identity is Dernhelm as they ride towards Minas Tirith. Merry feels useless feeling that “he might just have been another bag Dernhelm was carrying.” Indeed when one of the riders trips over him in the dark Merry complains of being treated like a tree-root or a bag and the rider seems to join in with the joke saying to Merry, “Pack yourself up, Master Bag”. (The Return of the King, 1991, pp.812-813)
We have just left Pippin struggling with a different metaphor although a very similar sentiment. Pippin has likened himself to a pawn in a game of chess but on the wrong chessboard and now we join Merry in company with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli as they prepare to ride with Théoden to Edoras and then on by some unknown way to Minas Tirith. As Aragorn ponders his journey Merry gives out a plaintive cry:
“Don’t leave me behind!”
Poor Merry. This is not the cry of a warrior before battle as are the cries of Legolas and Gimli as they promise their support to Aragorn, it is the cry of a little child who simply does not want to be left out. The child knows that the grown ups don’t really need them for the important task that lies ahead but they fear to be left alone, and they fear to be thought a mere nuisance by those whose opinion they value so much.
Are we of any use?
Poor Merry; if he had hoped to get an answer from Aragorn he received none. Aragorn might have recalled the words that Gandalf spoke about the young hobbits when he and Gandalf met once again in the forest of Fangorn, that the coming of Merry and Pippin to Fangorn “was like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains” (The Two Towers p.647). He could use those words to give some kind of reassurance to Merry; but he does not. Perhaps he is too busy thinking about his own road to Minas Tirith, something that we will think about in the next post, but he does not.
There comes a moment in every life when we realise that the grown ups are not going to turn up and whatever happens next we are going to have to face it alone. For some people that moment will come far too soon but whenever it does come it will always feel that it has come when we are not prepared for it. At that moment we will feel utterly inadequate for what we are about to face and like Pippin in Minas Tirith we will want Gandalf to make us feel better or like Merry on the road to Edoras we will plead with Aragorn not to leave us behind but we will receive nothing. Like Pippin we will feel like a pawn in the wrong game or like Merry we will feel like a useless piece of baggage. But like both of them we will be carried to a place where there is no-one else to act and we will either run away or do what we can. As we shall see Merry and Pippin will do what they can.
Wisdom from The Lord of the Rings 
I’ve enjoyed reading your pieces on the early chapters of the Return of the King, focussing on the experience of the unfolding story through the eyes of Gandalf and Pippin, and now with a turn to Merry. I think that those of us who first read the book when we were young feel drawn to the hobbits. They must have felt easy to overlook and of less stature than the more stately characters such as Gandalf and the Elves, and yet they could be intuitive in the way children are about adults in our world, as when Pippin perceives Gandalf’s joy as well as his sternness. I have a soft spot for Merry: often out of the limelight, but who gets things done, is thoughtful and loyal. Like Pippin, he grows during the story, and we see depths of character in him, as with the other hobbits.
Hi Chris, it is really good to hear from you again. I agree completely with what you say in your comment. I think that Tolkien’s perspective from the small person was hard won. You get none of it in The Silmarilion and the texts associated with it. They are all heroic in the way in which this is commonly understood. Perhaps The Hobbit opened a door. He deliberately wrote a children’s story there and told the story through the unheroic eyes of Bilbo Baggins and, of course, by following that figure he ended up by going down roads he never anticipated. But he does not do an either/or story here. His story is neither anti-heroic nor ironic as would have been typical in a modernist story. Those two “bags” are carried to places where they do great deeds.
Hello Stephen,
Many thanks for highlighting two feelings most people encounter at some
point in their lives: what use am I? and feeling unprepared to deal with
a novel situation all by ourselves (“when is the grown-up going to
appear and help me?”). Merry and Pippin embody this perfectly. At least
Frodo and Sam knew what their respective jobs were.
Some people always seem to know what they’re good for, some figure it
out sooner, some much later or in retrospect, some perhaps not in this
life (Gandalf: “no, the journey does not end here…”). Also, you’re
never too old or young to feel unprepared, never too old or young to
face something alone that’s out-of-your-world/unpracticed so far (like
birth and death).
Perhaps the two experiences are related: by doing what we can in such
troubled times, we find out what we’re good for, that we’re not just
baggage.
It’s hard to carry these questions, like baggage, which is where a good
dose of Faith and fellowship come in handy (Sam to Frodo: “I can’t carry
it for you, but I CAN carry you”).
Blessings,
Kate
Thank you for all these thoughts, Kate. You got me thinking about the way in which Frodo and Sam are different from Merry and Pippin. I agree with you that they are. I think that you are onto something when you say that there is something of great value in being commissioned for a particular task. I was given a responsible job when I was 25 years old and suddenly felt that I had to live up to it. That I couldn’t let people down. I think of Frodo’s words to Faramir “I must find the Mountain of Fire and cast the thing into the Gulf of Doom. Gandalf said so.”
I very much liked your words about never being too young or old to feel unprepared. In fact I would say that it is a feature of real life that every new experience is one about which one feels unprepared. Isn’t this what it means to walk by faith and not by sight? Sight means to know the path ahead. Faith is to trust the one who called me to make the journey even when I cannot see him.
Thanks for recounting your personal experience; something similar happened to me when I was 25: people depended on me, so I had to see it through. Your remark about walking in faith, trusting the One who sent me on this path, is very timely! All I have to do is take one step after the other (and a few deep breaths!).
I think of you in my prayers, Kate. Deep breathing but not hyper ventilating! My wife is currently teaching me about good breathing! It makes such a difference.
Thanks so much!