Month: January 2026

“I Have Not Been of Much Use Yet, But I Don’t Want to be Laid Aside, Like Baggage to be Called For When All is Over.” Merry Speaks of His Self-Doubt to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli.

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The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) p.756

From the very moment when Elrond chose the nine walkers to stand against the nine riders of Mordor there have been doubts about the suitability of the young hobbits, Merry and Pippin, to be members of that company. When at the last Elrond gave way to Gandalf and named them as members of the Fellowship he did so unwillingly and with a sigh.

And for all the brave words that Pippin spoke then about his determination to follow the Fellowship or to be tied up in a sack to prevent him from doing so both he and Merry have struggled with self-doubt about their being of any use upon the journey, and both of them have found themselves comparing their value to the others as being like a useless piece of baggage.

The first to do so was Pippin as he struggled back into consciousness after being captured by the orcs at Parth Galen.

“What good have I been? Just a nuisance, a passenger, a piece of luggage.” (The Two Towers, Harper Collins 1991, 2007, p. 579)

And later in the story it is Merry who makes very much the same complaint as he tries to stay secret, sitting in front of Éowyn whose own secret identity is Dernhelm as they ride towards Minas Tirith. Merry feels useless feeling that “he might just have been another bag Dernhelm was carrying.” Indeed when one of the riders trips over him in the dark Merry complains of being treated like a tree-root or a bag and the rider seems to join in with the joke saying to Merry, “Pack yourself up, Master Bag”. (The Return of the King, 1991, pp.812-813)

We have just left Pippin struggling with a different metaphor although a very similar sentiment. Pippin has likened himself to a pawn in a game of chess but on the wrong chessboard and now we join Merry in company with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli as they prepare to ride with Théoden to Edoras and then on by some unknown way to Minas Tirith. As Aragorn ponders his journey Merry gives out a plaintive cry:

“Don’t leave me behind!”

Poor Merry. This is not the cry of a warrior before battle as are the cries of Legolas and Gimli as they promise their support to Aragorn, it is the cry of a little child who simply does not want to be left out. The child knows that the grown ups don’t really need them for the important task that lies ahead but they fear to be left alone, and they fear to be thought a mere nuisance by those whose opinion they value so much.

Are we of any use?

Poor Merry; if he had hoped to get an answer from Aragorn he received none. Aragorn might have recalled the words that Gandalf spoke about the young hobbits when he and Gandalf met once again in the forest of Fangorn, that the coming of Merry and Pippin to Fangorn “was like the falling of small stones that starts an avalanche in the mountains” (The Two Towers p.647). He could use those words to give some kind of reassurance to Merry; but he does not. Perhaps he is too busy thinking about his own road to Minas Tirith, something that we will think about in the next post, but he does not.

There comes a moment in every life when we realise that the grown ups are not going to turn up and whatever happens next we are going to have to face it alone. For some people that moment will come far too soon but whenever it does come it will always feel that it has come when we are not prepared for it. At that moment we will feel utterly inadequate for what we are about to face and like Pippin in Minas Tirith we will want Gandalf to make us feel better or like Merry on the road to Edoras we will plead with Aragorn not to leave us behind but we will receive nothing. Like Pippin we will feel like a pawn in the wrong game or like Merry we will feel like a useless piece of baggage. But like both of them we will be carried to a place where there is no-one else to act and we will either run away or do what we can. As we shall see Merry and Pippin will do what they can.

“The Darkness Has Begun. There Will Be No Dawn.” Pippin Has Nothing to Do But Wait for the Beginning of War.

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The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) pp. 750-755

I have always found these pages in The Return of the King difficult to read. Like everyone else in the story I am waiting for the battle to begin. Not that I love stories of battle. Actually the older I get the less I like them. It’s just that waiting is so very difficult. What do you do as you wait for something that is too big to put out of your mind but you know that it is going to happen whether you want it to or not.

Even Gandalf seems to be distracted and unable to concentrate his considerable mind. At the end of the chapter that we have been reading and thinking about Pippin very much does not want to be alone. He wants to see Gandalf again, a figure from the familiar world of the Fellowship that set out from Rivendell and which has shared so much together. But when Gandalf arrives in the dead of night and Pippin tells him that he is glad to see him back Gandalf’s grumpy response is to say: “I have come back here, for I must have a little peace, alone. You should sleep in a bed while you still may.” In other words, leave me alone, Pippin!

Poor Pippin. There is so much difference between a bed that is a place of profound rest after great struggle, as is the bed on the Field of Cormallen for Frodo and Sam after their terrible trials, and a bed, however comfortable, that is but a brief pause before a time of trial. As Gandalf puts it with brutal succinctness, “the night will be too short.”

For Pippin, indeed for Gandalf too, there is no escape from this time of waiting except to pass through it. Pippin may want some kind of company in order to distract himself from himself but so too does Gandalf.

“When will Faramir return?” he asks himself, searching in the darkness for some piece that is missing in the vain hope that it will make sense of everything. Gandalf might just have asked, when will Théoden, or Aragorn, arrive? He might even ask, when will Frodo and Sam complete their task? And for poor Pippin there is the nagging ache that lies deep within his soul that is the unanswered question, where is Merry?

And that is the problem when all is said and done. I might be able to ask the question, but that does not mean that my question can be answered. Or, at the very least, it does not mean that I have any power within myself to answer that question. Gandalf cannot make anything happen that can quieten his troubled mind. All that he can do is to wait.

Some well meaning guides might suggest a mindfulness technique at this point. If only Gandalf or Pippin could focus on a mantra of some kind or a sacred word, then all will be well. But all would not be well. The forces of Mordor would still be about to arrive and that can never be good whatever we might do to prepare to meet it. And Faramir, Théoden and Aragorn would still be somewhere unknown.

Pippin is going through an initiation. He has been ever since he passed his first uncomfortable night in the fields of the Shire after setting out with Frodo and Sam from Bag End. How that night, the night before the hobbits encountered the Nazgûl for the very first time, must seem like paradise as Pippin waits through a night after which there will be no dawn. But that is the point in an initiation. Its whole purpose is to teach you how to die before you die. It teaches you to live light to everything except for the things that really matter. It teaches you what those things really are. They aren’t the accumulation of wealth, not even of power. As Gildor Inglorien said to Frodo on the second night of the journey across the Shire, take those who you can trust. In other words, friendship matters far more than power.

On the night before the outbreak of war Pippin feels very much alone and afraid. He is forced to endure it by himself. But he will emerge from this experience as one who can be a source of great strength to others. Later, Faramir will have reason to be grateful for his friendship, so too will Merry who will not be left to die alone on the battlefield, and Aragorn who will not be killed by the troll on the field before the Black Gate of Mordor. This night may be desperately hard to endure but, along with all the other things that Pippin has to pass through, it will make him the “very valiant man” as he was introduced to Ingold and his men at the beginning of The Return of the King.

“A Pawn Did Gandalf Say? Perhaps; But On the Wrong Chessboard.” Pippin Feels Out of Place Amidst Preparations for War in Gondor.

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The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) pp. 749-750

The Nazgûl that passed across the sun casting a shadow into the hearts of the defenders of Minas Tirith has gone and Pippin and Beregond sit silently for a time together for a time with bowed heads. Together they have spoken of the fear that hides within their hearts and a bond has been forged between them. Later this bond will save the life of Faramir and we will think about this on another occasion. Now Pippin of the Shire, one who as we have seen throughout the story is able to find courage and hope even when there seems to be no hope, stands up again and sees “that the sun was still shining, and the banners still streaming in the breeze.”

“No, my heart will not yet despair,” he declares. “Gandalf fell and has returned and is with us. We may stand, if only on one leg, or at least be left still upon our knees.”

When times seem hope-less we need friends who, like Pippin, seem almost constitutionally incapable of giving way to despair. We remember that it was Pippin who, when he and Merry were the captives of the orcs of Isengard, cut his bonds with a fallen orc blade and was able to leave his leaf broach, given to him in Lothlórien, on the plains of Rohan. Would anyone ever see this sign and follow them? Pippin did not know. But he refused to give in.

Defiance is kindled within the heart of Beregond and he stands tall once more. And we can imagine conversations like this taking place throughout the city as soldiers seek to en-courage one another. Indeed so much does Beregond recognise this quality of encouragement within his new companion that he invites Pippin to join him in his company’s mess hall. He wants to give a piece of Pippin to his comrades and they, in their turn welcome all that Pippin can give, plying him with so much food and drink that he has to take special care not to allow his tongue to run away with him. Pippin, the careless, is growing in wisdom on his journey.

And this is not the only way in which Pippin is growing in wisdom. He is beginning to learn what lies, what truly lies, within his heart. We might forgive a young man as he is, one who might naturally seek the approval, even admiration, of his fellows, if he were to begin to boast and swagger among them. Anyone who has ever spent time in the company of young men will know that a good deal of this goes on when they gather together. “Look at me!” they seem to be saying to one another. But Pippin is not a boy any longer. He has seen death and horror and, perhaps most importantly of all, he has known failure. And now as he watches Beregond the warrior of Gondor rousing his heart for battle he recalls some words that Gandalf spoke to him as they left their interview with Denethor.

“The Enemy has the move, and he is about to open his full game. And pawns are as likely to see as much of it as any, Peregrin son of Paladin, soldier of Gondor. Sharpen your blade!”

Gandalf likens the war to a game of chess and Pippin to a pawn upon the board waiting to be moved into position by others, knowing that often it is the part of pawns simply to be sacrificed for what is deemed a higher purpose. Pippin does not resent the title that is given to him. He has no pretence to any higher status within the game. He is no more significant a part of the game than anyone else. Indeed, as he watches Beregond stirring up his courage as he strikes the hilt of his sword he feels himself undeserving even of the title of pawn.

“A pawn did Gandalf say? Perhaps; but on the wrong chessboard.”

Pippin suddenly feels that he has no right to be anywhere near the war that is about to break out, no right to wear the livery of a soldier of Gondor among those who, in his eyes, deserve to be given this title. Perhaps it is just as well that he does not know that all the smiting of hilts and all the cries of defiance are, in truth, and in part at least, the efforts of his new comrades to be hide their own fears. We might even look back to Gandalf’s reply to Frodo when he realised the danger that his possession of the Ring had brought him and cried out that he wished it need not have happened in his time.

“So do all who live to see such times,” Gandalf replied.

So do all. And so does Pippin. And Beregond too.

“For if We Fall, Who Shall Stand? And, Master Peregrin, Do You See Any Hope That We Shall Stand?” Beregond and Pippin on the Walls of Minas Tirith.

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The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) pp. 745-749

After Pippin and Beregond look to the welfare of Shadowfax and find food together they make their way onto the walls of the city and look out, north, east and south as final preparations are made for war. Far below them, on the road that winds through the Pelennor Fields, they see a line of wagons bearing the sad cargo of the women and children of the city heading southward, the ancient sign of war. The most vulnerable are torn from their homes and will rely now upon the kindness of strangers. So it continues until our own times.

Beregond may not be one of the captains of Gondor but he is a man who thinks both widely and deeply, and he begins to reflect upon the strategic peril of his own land and also of the free lands of the West. Already there is news that the Corsairs of Umbar are sailing towards the seaport of Pelargir; and because of the threat they pose the people of the south are staying near their homes in order to defend them instead of coming to the aid of Minas Tirith. And then Beregond ponders the events in Rohan that Pippin has described to him.

“The doings at Isengard should warn us that we are caught now in a great net and strategy. This is no longer a bickering at the fords, raiding from Ithilien and from Anórien, ambushing and pillaging. This is a great war long planned, and we are but one piece in it, whatever pride may say.”

At last Pippin and Beregond look out towards the east from which the darkness comes and Beregond asks of Pippin and of his own heart the question to which he most fears an answer.

“Here will the hammer-stroke fall hardest. And for that reason Mithrandir came in such haste. For if we fall, who shall stand? And Master Peregrin, do you see any hope that we shall stand?”

Is there any hope? That is the question that everything comes to. And as Beregond asks the question so Pippin’s imagination is filled with memories of the journey that he has undertaken. He thinks of the Uruk-hai of Isengard in the woods and the fall of Boromir and he remembers the pursuit of the Nazgûl in the lanes of the Shire at a time when he had little understanding of the peril that they represented. And as he remembers them and all that he has known of their terror a shadow passes across the sun and Pippin turns white and cowers against the wall. Beregond bears no judgement at all as he sees Pippin’s reaction.

“You also felt something?”

“Yes,” muttered Pippin. “It is the sign of our fall, and the shadow of doom, a Fell Rider of the air.”

“Yes, the shadow of doom,” said Beregond. “I fear that Minas Tirith shall fall. Night comes. The warmth of my blood seems stolen away.”

Pippin and Beregond seem overwhelmed by the horror that is coming to assail them. Every hope, every dream that they may have carried in their hearts both for themselves and for those that they love is extinguished in their hearts. All that there is is darkness. We are reminded of the account of the Last Supper that is given by St John and the moment when Judas Iscariot goes from the upper room to betray Jesus to the Temple authorities and the words that conclude this part of the story.

“And it was night.”

In the greatest stories, perhaps even in the story that is our life, there will come a moment when there is only darkness that can be seen and there seems no light beyond it. We saw Sam Gamgee kneel beside the body of Frodo, filled as it was with Shelob’s venom. We fell to the ground in horror with the Fellowship after the fall of Gandalf at the Bridge of Khazad-dûm. At those moments all hope seemed lost. But there was still a moment beyond that. And another one, and another. And in some way another step was taken. And another. As Aragorn said at the eastern gate of Moria. “We shall go on without hope.”

“They Say that Men Who Go Warring Afield Look Ever to the Next Hope of Food and Of Drink.” Pippin Makes the Acquaintance of Beregond of the Guard.

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The Return of the King by J.R.R Tolkien (Harper Collins 1991) pp. 744-745

After his gruelling encounter with the Lord Denethor, Steward of Gondor, Pippin unsurprisingly responds to this experience as would any self respecting hobbit. He looks for something to eat. The tower bell has just struck 9 o’clock and Pippin stands alone in the street.

“Just the time for a nice breakfast, by the open window in spring sunshine,” he says to himself and immediately we are reminded of Bilbo on the adventure that we know as The Hobbit. Pippin reminds more of Bilbo than of Frodo. It is unlikely that Thorin Oakenshield would have praised Frodo for his pleasure in the matters of the table as he did Bilbo but he would have recognised in Pippin a kindred spirit to his friend and travelling companion. And he would not have mistaken Pippin’s love for food and drink for inadequacy in martial valour. Nor does Beregond of the Guard when Pippin asks him where he might find something to eat.

“Beregond looked at him gravely. ‘An old campaigner, I see,’ he said. ‘They say that men who go warring afield look ever to the next hope of food and drink; though I am not a travelled man myself.”

Tolkien, an army veteran himself of the First World War (1914-18), knew of what he spoke. It is thought that one of the things that encouraged young men in Britain to sign up at the outbreak of the war in 1914 was the guarantee of a good meal every single day. My father, himself a veteran of the Normandy landings in the Second World War of June 1944, and of the battles that followed them, used to speak of how the officers would never sit down for their own meal in the evening until they had made sure that the men under their command had eaten theirs.

Unbeknown to himself Pippin has already eaten breakfast in the company of the Steward of Gondor. As he says to Beregond it was “no more than a cup of wine and a white cake or two by the kindness of your lord”. To Pippin this was little more than a snack and hard earned because of Denethor’s interrogation but Beregond laughs and then replies that Pippin has broken his fast “as well as any man in the Citadel, and with greater honour.” It is worth noting here that the character of Denethor that Tolkien draws is very different from that created by Peter Jackson. I am sure that my readers will remember the scene in the film in which Denethor consumes a lavish meal served by a Pippin who is trying to hide his distaste as Faramir leads his men into battle in a suicidal cavalry charge. This is far from Tolkien’s creation. Denethor is no glutton. If anything he is a man incapable of escaping the bleak austerity of a city under siege. In the last post on this blog we spoke of Denethor’s wanhope, a state of mind to quote Chaucer, “that is despair of the mercy of God that comes sometimes of too much outrageous sorrow and sometimes of too much dread”.

Pippin, like Gandalf as we have thought about in recent posts, is a lover of life. By this we do not mean that he will “eat, drink and be merry” for all that he has to look forward to is death. Pippin does eat and drink, and he is certainly merry, but he does so in celebration of life. Pippin knows deep sorrow. He saw Boromir fall and he carries the pain of that sorrow with him wherever he goes and has offered himself in service to Boromir’s father in payment of the debt he feels he owes. But Pippin does this because in all things he joyfully affirms the life that Boromir laid down for him. Maybe that is why he was able to see the mirth in Gandalf that always lies just below the surface. Maybe that is why he is drawn to Gandalf. Maybe that is also why Gandalf is drawn to him.